Heartbeat
by erebororbust
Summary: Kaneki was alive, even if only barely. (AU, no pairings.)


**Hi, all!**

 **So this was the first prompt for the November 30 day writing challenge I did, (which I actually ended up only doing 4 of the prompts... *sweatdrop*) but I didn't actually finish it on the day itself so it became more than a month long project, along with my other... what... five? oneshots in progress, plus the fifth chapter to my semi-popular Voltron: Legendary Defender story.**

 **So... yeah. On with the show! (No pairings, btw)**

* * *

Hide saw red.

He saw red, red _everywhere._ Red on torn black fabric, red on snow white hair, red on discarded black leather, red on speckled grey concrete. Seeing so much of one color hurt his eyes, it was jarring and he wanted to look away, run away and not return, but instead, he found himself running toward the red. He had to, because if he didn't Kaneki was going to _die_ and he wouldn't ever be able to forgive himself because it was _all his fault,_ right from the start.

His knees collided with rock-hard concrete. Hide felt a brief, dull flare of something in his legs but he blocked it out, because _Lord, Kaneki- your hair, your nails- so much_ _ **red**_ _-_

There was red all over his chest; Hide couldn't tell where the wound was. His mouth was dry, panic was strangling him because ever since Kaneki disappeared he'd done _so much research_ on ghouls, and if everything matched up, then Kaneki was the Eyepatch, and the Eyepatch had a Rinkaku Kagune, and that meant Kaneki had a Rinkaku, and ghouls with Rinkakus had _crazy_ regenerative powers so _why hasn't he healed?_

Hide's eyes searched desperately, and futilely, for the wound that was causing so much red. He took a shaky breath in, a shaky breath out then stared, blinked, and slowly felt _stupid, so utterly stupid_ as he realized something _so obvious_.

Kaneki's chest was still.

There was no gasping or panting sound or anything as Kaneki tried to breathe.

Because he wasn't.

All thoughts halted- for a moment Hide couldn't think anything other than _he's not breathing, he's not breathing, he's not breathing, he's not breathing, notbreathingnotbreathingnotbreathing_ _ **not breathing**_ _-_

His movements were robotic, his body was going into autopilot as his hands clasped together and he began pumping, _one, two, three, four, five…_

Put a hand over his mouth and nose, felt nothing- _one, two, three, four, five…_

Again, no breath... No warm air tickling his palm.

 _One, two, three, four, five…_

It wasn't working. He wasn't breathing, he'd have to breathe for him.

(Many people were squirmish about mouth-to-mouth, but Hide didn't care if it meant his best friend- brother - would live.)

One breath, two breaths- Hide stopped and felt Kaneki's wrist. No heartbeat.

Another breath, a fourth, he risked doing a fifth.

Pressed two fingers to Kaneki's wrist, hoped, _prayed_ for something, _anything._

.

.

.

.

It was barely there, just a light, jumping flutter, almost nonexistent- but what mattered was that Hide could _feel it and it was real and there and Kaneki had a heartbeat._

Tears slipped down Hide's face like raindrops and one of his shaking hands cupped over Kaneki's mouth and nose, hoping beyond all hope that it wasn't just his imagination, that the heartbeat was real and there'd be breath, too, they'd both be real and Hide would be able to keep his closest family.

Just like the heartbeat, almost not there at all- but also like the heartbeat, Hide could _feel_ the soft, slight gusts of warm air tickling his hand, and they were so, so slight but even so, they were still _there._

Kaneki was alive, even if only barely.

And Hide let himself cry, he let the tears trail down his cheeks as he removed his hand, gently brushed Kaneki's bangs away from his forehead. Watched for a moment as Kaneki's chest rose and fell slowly, let his fingers press against the teen's wrist again. Felt his fluttering heartbeat.

Hide's eyes roamed over his best friend, and, dreadingly, knew he'd have to move Kaneki.

He didn't know where to take him- but even if Kaneki was breathing he still needed help if he was to _keep_ breathing, and so Hide was going to have to move him.

It may disrupt wherever the wound may be… but he would have to take that risk.

Balancing on the balls of his feet, Hide gently, gently lifted Kaneki's head, let it rest on his left arm as his right one slipped underneath his knees. He counted to three- _one, two, three_ \- and stood, tightening his grip some on his charge.

Hide glanced down at Kaneki- head pressed safely against Hide's chest, arms resting in his lap. Still breathing shallowly. Alive.

A small smile graced his lips because Kaneki had a chance at surviving, a slim one, but a chance nonetheless, and Hide would do anything he could to help him.

So he took off in a brisk sprint with that thought in mind- all the while being careful, trying to keep Kaneki as still against his chest as possible; he didn't want to aggravate whatever wounds he had- knowing that Kaneki had a heartbeat, it was _there_ , and as long as it was Hide wasn't going to stop fighting for him.

* * *

The only thing he felt- pain.

Burning like molten lava flowing underneath his skin, stabbing at his head and his side and his arms like daggers. It flared and sparked and stung beyond words, his body was a tangle of frayed wires that were rubbing up against each other.

All he could feel was the fire licking at his back, the pressure on his head and the needles and knives pricking his flesh.

All he could see- darkness. Pure darkness, no light, no distinguishable objects, or people, or _anything_ in the void around him, just shadows and the nightmares and anxieties that were derived from them.

But sadly, he was accustomed to all of it.

Now, after everything, they were like old friends to him. Their sharp, glass shard edges dragged across his mind, but he could hardly feel a thing- he'd just simply become numb to the agony that they brought, letting it wash over him like water. There was no point in fighting them, as it seemed that now they were the only things that ever kept him company in the recesses of his mind.

Although, that's what it had been like in the past. Now, amidst the pain, the dark- there was something new, something _gentle_ \- it didn't hurt him like everything else did.

A deep, even thumping, so close to him he felt as if he could touch it if he tried. It was right next to his ear. He could hear it so clearly, so rhythmic, so calming… like a song that never ended.

It was warm, peaceful… the sound, the _feeling_ of it rolled over him like waves from the ocean. The lava under his flesh, the frayed wires, they both seemed to ebb away- he didn't know how, they'd always been there, as far as he could remember- but they did, and it felt so strange but so nice.

It was so _strong_. It had yet to falter- it just kept beating and beating and beating. And truthfully, he didn't want it to stop. It was right next to him, yet he didn't know where it was coming from, but it was keeping the pain away and suddenly the dark seemed so much less intimidating with it there, and it was anchoring him, and he found himself holding onto the powerful but gentle beat.

He let himself cling to it, he let himself be calmed and clarified by it, and he deemed it _safe._

* * *

The entire room was such a glaring, sterile white.

It was bare save for the all the machines hooked up to the bed, and the chair he was sitting in. The air was cold, and smelled of disinfectant and chemicals- and Lord knows what else. Apparently, the room had had other things in it at one point, but they removed any furniture they deemed 'unnecessary', which seemed to be practically everything- but it made sense.

Unsurprisingly, and a bit ironically, the stifling brightness of the room assaulted Hide's eyes as much as the sickening red on his hands did. His stomach churned just glancing at them. He could go and wash them off, but then he'd be leaving his charge alone. (that was what he was, he'd been his charge ever since the beginning but Hide had never been bothered in the slightest about it.)

Caramel eyes flickered to said charge, Hide's lip trembling slightly.

Air mask over his face, an IV in his arm, bare, _bone-thin_ chest wrapped tightly with bandages. Hair limp and scraggly, skin waxy and pale as a ghost, almost blending in with the crisp white sheets of the bed and the walls of the room. (He couldn't tell if his best friend looked worse than how he looked when he'd first found him.)

Good Lord, it'd taken him _so long_ \- _too long, Kaneki had been dying in his arms and yet they had been so_ _ **stubborn**_ _about it_ \- to get them to agree. He'd yelled, screamed and begged, _just please save him I'm the only thing he has left and if we lose each other then he won't be able to handle it, and I won't be able to handle it either. Please save him, please, he has to live, he needs me and I need him-_

They'd never operated on a ghoul before with the intention of keeping it alive, from what they told him. Sadly, Hide wasn't really surprised.

For fact, Kaneki had flat-lined twice. All hell had broken loose when they told him that. It had taken multiple people- and threats- to reign in his temper, (only somewhat, though) and to keep him from possibly punching one- or more- of the surgeons. (If he was being honest, even Hide himself wasn't sure where that urge came from.)

Hide let out a tired sigh, ran trembling fingers through his blonde hair. He watched Kaneki's still, emotionless face, gaze eventually sliding down to the other teen's arms.

They'd wanted to put restraints on him. Hide had yelled himself hoarse when he'd finally been allowed in Kaneki's room, only to see some investigators and nurses strapping his wrists, ankles, and chest tightly to the bed. (He wasn't the strongest of guys, but in that moment he'd literally sent multiple men taller and more muscular than him stumbling as he rushed to the bed, tearing the straps off of Kaneki, yelling furiously at them all the while.)

Hide sighed again and reached out a shaking hand, gently taking Kaneki's clammy one in his own. He began to rub his thumb over the white-haired boy's knuckles, massaging the skin soothingly. (Whether it was more for Kaneki's sake or his own, Hide didn't know. Maybe for both of them.)

The blonde let his eyes flutter closed- and listened to the quiet, persistent beep resonating through the room.

Kaneki's heartbeat. Much, _much_ slower than what it should be, but at least it's there in the first place.

It was slightly odd- the sound kept shifting from being a white noise in the back of his head to being his anchor to the present, reminding him where he was and why. Keeping him from losing himself in his memories.

It was intriguing, and a bit strange, but it was also comforting.

( _It meant Kaneki was still breathing_.)

Hide's eyes peeled open. He bit his lip worriedly, gaze again shifting to Kaneki.

He truly hoped, _prayed_ things would work out- he'd done everything he possibly could to help his brother, but now things rested on Kaneki's shoulders. It all depended on when he woke.

(" _He has one chance, nothing more. When he wakes up, if he attacks anyone in any way at all, that's it. We won't hesitate."_ )

Hide swallowed thickly and absently continued to rub at the other teen's hand, lacing their fingers together albeit a tad bit nervously.

( " _Thank you. Thank you so much."_ )

One chance. That's all his best friend would get.

Kaneki stirred a little, shifting just barely onto his side, facing Hide's direction. The white-haired teen's eyelids fluttered some, but he remained unconscious.

Hide exhaled heavily (he couldn't help but be disappointed…) and squeezed Kaneki's hand. He rubbed tiredly at his eyes with his other hand, suppressing a yawn. The heart monitor continued its rhythmic beeping, a soft, almost calming sound in his head.

Eventually, Hide's eyes slid shut, and he slumped against the back of the chair he was sitting in. His breathing became deep and even, perhaps a bit ragged, but mainly peaceful nonetheless. His hand still held Kaneki's- he'd wake up to find himself still holding onto his brother like that.

When he fell asleep, the last thing he registered in his mind was the steady ' _Beep, beep, beep,_ ' of Kaneki's heartbeat being tracked on the monitor.

When he woke, that's what he heard as well, and strangely, a warm feeling drifted over him, and deep down, he knew things would be okay.

( _Because Kaneki's heart would keep beating._ )

* * *

 **Yup, a somewhat happy AU ending to the finale of Root A! (Because that episode made me friggin cry. I bawled my eyes out. And yes, I know I'm super late to be contributing. Oh freaking well. I'm still going to write the fanfiction anyway because Tokyo Ghoul is depressing and so are we, the fandom, and we need as much happiness as we can get, in any shape or form possible.)**

 **Reviews are candy for an author who has a major sweet tooth! Thanks for reading!**


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